


Summer Song (the bad idea remix)

by Deanon



Series: dumb boys [2]
Category: Novus Arx
Genre: Gift Fic, M/M, Mutual Pining, that thing where they are wildly in love while pretending not to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 05:06:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8652136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanon/pseuds/Deanon
Summary: Joke me something awful like the kisses on the necks of "best friends"
 A list of things that Gutter cannot run away from. (Alternately: the best possible outcome of attempting to install an AC unit.)





	

When the first groggy moments of consciousness came to Gutter, he didn’t quite know where he was. It didn’t feel like his room, and the bed was not comfortable enough to be Teddy’s - and he hadn’t slept in Teddy’s bed in years, anyways. His neck had a crick from sleeping without a pillow.

 

Memory came back with a start - moving out while everyone was out of the house, moving in, Teddy showing up a couple hours later - 

 

Teddy?

 

Gutter opened his eyes, but they confirmed what the rest of his senses had been telling him; he was alone in the bed. He rolled to the side - ow, he  _ really _ needed to unpack pillows, assuming he had those - and looked around the room, seeing boxes, furniture with padding still on it, a pile of clothes near the closet where he’d started unpacking. No Teddy.

 

The feeling that twisted in his gut was part bitterness, part relief, part confusion. It wasn’t like Teddy to up and leave in the middle of the night like that, but it wasn’t like he  _ couldn’t _ ; maybe he’d had to get back. He did have a job. And it saved Gutter the trouble of trying to figure out what to say, how to kick him out. Saved him from the possibility of…  _ not _ kicking him out. It was probably better.

 

He sort of wished he’d woken up, but it wasn’t - whatever, it was fine.

 

He should get up.

 

It took a while - he had a job lined up but it didn’t start until next week, so with Teddy gone all he had to look forward to was unpacking and going out and exploring his new neighborhood. Which sounded pretty great, actually - Gutter had always done well in new places, which was, after all, what he was doing here - but his mattress was comfortable.

 

Eventually, though, the lure of possible coffee called, and he dragged himself out of bed, yanked on some boxers because this place still didn’t feel  _ entirely _ his yet, and walked out of  the room. God, he wanted coffee so badly he could almost already smell it.

 

He entered his kitchen-living room space, and noticed first that the coffee was not imaginary; it was real, and there was a cup of it, and Teddy was at the kitchen table drinking his own.

 

Oh.

 

“I love - coffee,” Gutter said, tripping over his words in sudden panic and feeling like a complete moron. Of course Teddy didn’t leave. Teddy was never the one who left; Gutter left, and then Teddy forgave him for that and made him coffee, apparently.

 

Teddy almost laughed, and said, “I know?” He sipped his own cup. “Of course the first thing you unpacked was the coffee pot. Before your bedsheets. I see you have priorities.”

 

“I was going to unpack more before you showed up and distracted me,” Gutter said, and then wished he hadn’t phrased it in quite that way. He approached the table, still feeling very strange about the whole situation. It wasn’t like he and Teddy had never had coffee before, or even coffee the morning after, but this was - different. This was Gutter’s apartment, his first morning in it, and here was Teddy, with coffee and company and no shirt, wow, he had just noticed that.

 

“I’m not the one who attacked you in the living room,” Teddy said, and pushed the coffee across the table at him.

 

“Uh- _ huh _ ,” Gutter said skeptically, and got to watch Teddy blush manically at the shared memory of the second when they went from wrestling to something  _ else _ \- and, hey, fuck, shouldn’t be thinking of that at breakfast.

 

He needed to get Teddy out of his house.

 

“So - are you going back? Because I don’t have an extra bedroom.” Teddy gave him a hurt look, and Gutter got a vague feeling that he was handling this poorly, but his mouth kept moving as he said, “I mean, I could make it work, but you’ll have to at least pay rent.”

 

“Are  _ you _ going back?” Teddy returned. He was still sipping his coffee, watching Gutter. He looked so naturally at home in the kitchen, in a way that kind of pissed Gutter off. He didn’t even feel at home here; he certainly hadn’t yesterday, when it had  _ been _ his, more than any place ever had.

 

“I don’t know if you noticed,” Gutter said, “I sort of took all my shit with me when I left.”

 

“ _ Why _ ?” Teddy exploded, and he’d clearly been waiting to say this for longer than the 24 hours since Gutter had disappeared. “What the fuck, Gutter? You don’t just - you can’t just -  _ leave _ like that. What about your dads? What about Giddy? What about Elodie? What about - what else do you  _ want _ ? A girlfriend? Because - “

 

“I’m not here to get a  _ fucking girlfriend _ ,” Gutter said, and the words felt  _ wrenched _ out of him, for how they weren’t even - entirely true? He thought? He  _ had _ thought about getting a girlfriend here, some cool city girl with bright hair that clashed with his and was maybe kind of open-minded. Now, though, the idea seemed stupid, pointless.

 

“What the fuck, then? Give me  _ something _ .” Teddy looked upset,  _ genuinely _ upset in a way that he hadn’t been since he’d been the one hurting Gutter. It had twisted Gutter’s stomach then, too.

 

He opened his mouth, and what came out was, “Have you ever heard of a politician’s son doing something  _ good _ ?”

 

Silence. Their coffee was going cold. Teddy said, “What?”

 

“Everybody always saying,  _ you’re going to do great, such a good family, you're so lucky _ . And - sure, they’re great, but where does that leave me to go? Fuck around with pretty blondes until I’m old enough to take over Nifty’s spot on the city council? Maybe go into tax law? Fuck  _ that _ .”

 

Teddy snorted, looked at his coffee, looked back up at Gutter, and just like the day before he acted like a question had been asked when not a word had been said.

 

“If I’m gonna do something great, it’s gonna be with my name, in my city. It’s not  _ mine _ otherwise.”

 

For almost a full minute, Teddy drank coffee and looked at him, not judging, maybe just seeing if he was done. When he spoke, the words seemed carefully considered, and were actually a question. “So - here, right? You’re not gonna like - do this again in a few months, but across the ocean next time?”

 

“No,” Gutter said, meaning it as much as he could.

 

“Okay.” He was looking at a point over Gutter’s shoulder when he said, “Do you have a job?”

 

“Are you my  _ father _ ?” Gutter snapped, but he was laughing as he pitched a crumpled up napkin across the table at Teddy’s face, and harder when it dropped into what remained of his coffee.

 

* * *

 

 

After breakfast, Teddy didn’t leave.

 

Gutter’s stuff had been dropped off in the garage by the movers yesterday, and he’d only bothered to move about half of the boxes up before getting tired and figuring he’d move the rest… later. They were sitting piled in the corner, waiting to be searched by a curious neighbor or thrown out by an annoyed landlord.

 

Once Teddy got this information out of him (“Where are your swords? They were gone and they’re  _ definitely _ not in here yet”) he’d insisted on bringing the boxes up, a process which maybe took a bit longer because they kept fighting over who would carry the heavier box. They then had to find out what was  _ in _ the heavier box, which Teddy was right about as often as Gutter, despite it being all Gutter’s shit. And then once they had them open they might as well unpack, and Teddy was putting things on shelves anyways without input from Gutter, and it was too much damn effort to stop him.

 

One of the larger items was an air conditioner, which, as the time crept towards midday, they both agreed should be the next thing brought upstairs. It took both of them - it was an old model, dug out of the garage, since the Callaway house had central air all Gutter’s life - and once it was upstairs, neither of them were sure what to do with it.

 

After a good 15 minutes of google searches and wandering around an apartment which was becoming increasingly furnace-like, they determined that it needed to be placed in a window. Gutter elected the bedroom window - since he couldn’t imagine sleeping in this heat - and that was where their knowledge ran out.

 

“Isn’t this going to kill someone?” Gutter asked, peering out the gaping window from where he’d removed the screen. The sidewalk, five stories down, was littered with people unsuspectingly going about their business. “This can’t be safe.”

 

“It… balances,” Teddy said, not sounding sure at all. He joined Gutter at the window, arm pressing to arm as he examined the frame from the inside and outside. “I’m sure this is sturdy, anyways.”

 

“I’m not,” Gutter said, and felt victorious at the way Teddy snorted. 

 

Still, they didn’t actually have a choice; the AC went in the window or nowhere at all. With some more google searches and an eHow article on hand, they gathered the tools, set up by the window, and Gutter, being the less technically skilled of the two, tried to hoist up the AC into the open window.

 

And tried.

 

He could get it off the ground, but hesitated to actually bring it near the open window. It felt  _ far _ too much like he could drop it out at any moment.

 

After watching him struggle and offering support for a minute, Teddy said, “Here, let me try.”

 

Although they were evenly matched in many ways, Teddy’s upper-arm strength dwarfed Gutter’s. When he took the weight of the AC, his muscles of his arms bulged against his T-shirt, he drew in a deep breath, and said, “Okay, you set it up.”

 

Gutter, looking at Teddy’s arms, said, “What?” and then “Oh, right, yeah. On it.”

 

Images of yesterday - being picked up and supported by Teddy’s arms, rocking his hips down and feeling Teddy shift to accommodate his weight without dropping him - floated through his mind as he tried to match the instructions on his phone to what he was seeing in front of him. Meaning the AC, not Teddy. There was a lot of awkward reaching around as Teddy supported the AC while Gutter packed lining around it, fixed the side panels, and screwed in the base. And maybe a couple screws were dropped in the process, but Teddy, after a minute, wasn’t saying anything about it.

 

In fact, neither of them were speaking anymore, except to communicate basic instructions: “Move your arm,” “Is that sturdy,” “Move over.” The heat off of Teddy’s body felt hotter than the outdoors, humming under Gutter’s skin. He was drenched in sweat.

 

Installing the AC took a while.

 

When they finally finished and Teddy reluctantly released the machine (and Gutter held his breath, waiting for a lawsuit to happen as it went tumbling backwards out of the window), Gutter let out a soft, “Oh, thank god.”

 

“This better be worth it,” Teddy said, plugged it in, and pressed a button.

 

It clanked, and hummed, and began to vibrate just slightly - enough to be annoying the first night but easy to get used to, Gutter figured, with a leniency unique to things that he’d put together for himself. After a few suspenseful seconds, the first gust of cool air emerged, meeting his skin in a sweet wash.

 

“Ohh,” Gutter groaned, leaning his head back. He cracked an eye open to look at Teddy, who was, indeed, watching him. Playing it up a little, Gutter continued, “That feels  _ amazing _ .”

 

“I can tell,” Teddy said, without taking his eyes off of Gutter.

 

“We’re taking a break,” Gutter decided, and backed away from Teddy to flop down onto the bed. “I can’t believe we got our asses kicked by an AC.”

 

“ _ You _ got your ass kicked,” Teddy pointed out. “I could have told you not to bring an old window unit. You can get a cheap one from Walmart for $50, you know.” He approached Gutter to hover over him and the still sheetless mattress. 

 

“Ugh, Walmart,” Gutter said, stretching his arms and closing his eyes.

 

And then snapping them open again a second later, when the mattress dipped with the weight of Teddy kneeling down. His whole body froze, down to the breath in his lungs.

 

He didn’t know why he froze up so badly, when Teddy came near him like this. It wasn’t like it was unfamiliar or surprising. They’d done this before, if not often - a background level to their relationship that had been around for a few years, as unacknowledged as the fact that they were best friends. It just wasn’t - something they talked about.

 

This, though - as Teddy moved over him, a hand over his shoulder, a thigh slung over his, a hand on his chest - this felt different. Maybe it was the fact that, for the first time, they were in a house that was truly their own; no parents or siblings to listen for, a locked door and neighbors who had probably heard a lot worse.

 

Teddy leaned down and kissed him, and Gutter gave up and just went with it.

 

“It’s too hot for this,” He said, just to be difficult, while shifting under Teddy, lifting his hips up and stretching his arms overhead. Teddy slid a hand up his shirt, and then further, drawing it off.

 

“I can fix that,” Teddy said, moving the shirt to the side.

 

“You are - ah - the worst,” Gutter said, his breath skipping as Teddy slid a hand up his now-bare chest. “Take yours off too, come on.”

 

“And rob you of the chance to stare at my arms in sleeves some more?”

 

“ _ Fuck  _ you,” Gutter said, and reached up to remove Teddy’s shirt himself. As he drew it up, Teddy raised one arm and then the other, allowing it to come off smoothly and join Gutter’s shift somewhere in the mess on the floor.

 

Teddy leaned down and slowly pressed his chest into Gutter’s, the bare skin burning hot and sending shivers up and down his spine. Turning his head, he breathed into Gutter’s neck, and everything got too hot for a second, stifling. Gutter bucked up.

 

Like the night before, Teddy rolled with hardly any fight, which wasn’t very fun, but Gutter wasn’t complaining. Being on top was easier, easier to breathe, easier to think about this as getting off with his best friend and not - 

 

He rolled his hips, leaned down and kissed Teddy briefly before moving to his neck, his collarbone where sweat had formed as they’d been moving, his chest. Beneath him, Teddy’s breath was coming faster, starting to twitch in restlessness even as he laid mostly still. His hands traced up and down Gutter’s sides, dipping below his waistband and drawing back out.

 

As usual, Gutter lost patience first. “Did you - that box, the small one that I told you to put in the bedroom, where - “

 

“ _ Which _ \- “ Teddy said, in a too-deep voice that made Gutter’s whole body  _ hum _ , and then, “Oh.  _ Oh _ . Uh, next to the bed, over by the window - “

 

Gutter looked over, and felt a stab of frustration - it wasn’t in reach, quite. Ignoring Teddy’s “ _ Fuck _ ”, he swung a leg off, leaning off the side of the bed and reaching to grab the box without falling off the side of the bed. He nearly toppled when the bed shifted, stopped at the last moment by a hand on his waist drawing him back.

 

As his hand gripped the box and dragged it forward, Teddy shifted to kneel behind him, bringing their hips together in an electrifying jolt of friction. His hands shook as he tore the tape off the box, his breath getting a little unsteady. He was still wearing pants and so was Teddy, but the hardness rocking against him was almost more intense for it - like something illicit, barely concealed.

 

The tape tore, and the box opened. He dug through the contents with blind eyes, feeling Teddy reach down and start fiddling with the fastenings of his pants. The contents of his bedside table and some of the floor had been swept more or less gracelessly into the box, and it was a mess, but after a second he got lucky and pulled out a box of condoms, followed a second later by lube.

 

Teddy, his hand still in the process of being  _ extremely distracting _ by opening Gutter’s pants, tucked his head into  Gutter’s neck and began to laugh.

 

“You kept that in the same house as Nifty?” He asked, and Gutter groaned in automatic response at the mention of his father.

 

“Worse,” he said. “Nifty  _ gave them _ to me.” Teddy’s laughter worsened. “Would you  _ stop _ .”

 

“Which part?” Teddy said. He had managed to unfasten and unzip Gutter’s pants, and his hand was now inside, softly massaging in a way that had Gutter almost melting onto the floor.

 

“Guess,” Gutter said, and rolled his hips back deliberately.

 

They shifted together back into laying on the bed, Gutter’s pants getting pulled down while he worked on getting Teddy’s open, a mess of limbs and fingers and removed clothing. After a second of confusion, things resolved into  _ nakedness _ and  _ touching _ , though, which Gutter was all about.

 

He was so caught up in the touching, he jumped a little bit when Teddy’s hand crept backward, sliding down his back and between his cheeks.

 

“Okay?” Teddy said, in his ear, and he realized he’d gone tense all over, focussed entirely on that one touch.

 

“What are you doing?” He hissed, shifting away and then back towards the hand that was now stroking, slowly and steadily, over him. It was sending shivers that he couldn’t quite identify up and down his spine.

 

“What do you  _ think _ ?” Teddy’s finger pressed in a very pointed sort of way, making Gutter arch his hips a little and his thoughts go momentarily fuzzy.

 

But oh, no. No fucking way.

 

Reaching up to grab a shoulder, he suddenly turned Teddy on his back, dislodging his hand and bumping some limbs along the way. “That is not,” he said, pressing down pointedly, “how this is going to go.”

 

“No?” Teddy asked. He rolled his hips up, and he  _ was _ very conveniently positioned, like this. Naked, there was nothing stopping him from pressing hot and hard against Gutter, which was extremely distracting. 

 

“N - no,” Gutter said, taking a second to remember what exactly he was denying. Teddy’s rocks upward had taken on a distinctly rhythmic quality, and he found himself mirroring it without thinking, completely distracted by the way Teddy was so hard and pressed up against him and he  _ ached _ \- 

 

“You scared?”

 

“I’m not  _ scared _ ,” Gutter said, glaring down at Teddy and momentarily so offended that he lost the rhythm they’ve been building. He lifted up his hips to remove the friction.”I’m just not into it.”

 

Beneath him, Teddy’s eyes were going half-lidded, gaze soft and too intense. “No?” He said, and then his hand was back, stroking and pressing and when did Gutter’s hips go back down, rocking, the very tip of Teddy’s finger pressing in - 

 

“Am I too big for you?” Teddy asked. “Is that it?”

 

“You’re not too big for  _ anybody _ ,” Gutter said, after a moment’s pause. He should stop this again - should move away - but it felt  _ good _ , and Teddy’s other hand had come up to tangle in his hair and they were getting a rhythm again, a finger pressing forward in time with his hips and that was, it wasn’t - bad, or anything.

 

“Dunno, those condoms Nifty got you might not even fit me - “ which was  _ such _ bullshit.

 

“Get the  _ fuck _ over here,” Gutter snapped, even though there was no real way of Teddy getting closer to him. He reached out, snagged the bottle of lube that had been briefly forgotten, and he pulled it over and shoved it into Teddy’s chest. Teddy laughed, which he could feel through his whole body. He narrowed his eyes at the way Teddy was smiling at him.

 

“Do you know what to do with this?” He demanded, even as Teddy’s fingers moved again and his spine arched, out of his control. After a second of catching his breath, he recovered.

 

“Are you offering to give a demonstration?” Teddy asked, but he took the lube and flipped them over again, to get a better angle. It was more comfortable, but Gutter was about to object just to be contrary when Teddy leaned down to kiss his neck, and his brain went fuzzy.  _ Not fair _ , Gutter thought.

 

“This isn’t a free show,” he said, tilting his head. He rolled his hips again. “Get on with it.”

 

“Not a free show?” The click of a lid opening. “Should I be buying you dinner first?”

 

Gutter laughed, strained. Dinner, them, that was funny. Funny because he shouldn’t, because they were just friends who fucked sometimes, they weren’t - dating, or - 

 

“Fuck me,” he said, and the jolt of nervous-almost-shame from the words was counteracted by the  _ extremely _ gratifying response of Teddy gasping, and then shutting the fuck up and concentrating on his hands.

 

It had been - a while. Really it had been a  _ long _ while because Gutter didn’t really like doing this to himself, and he didn’t really like people he didn’t trust doing it either, and so - it had maybe been since the last time Teddy had done it, which was  _ months _ , and fuck fuck fuck that kind of hurt.

 

“You okay?” Teddy said, again.

 

“ _ Yes _ ,” Gutter said, urgently, and then, equally as urgently, “ _ Fuck _ ” when Teddy’s fingers kept pushing in.

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t - “ Teddy said, gently pulling his hand out.

 

“Don’t,” Gutter said, quickly reaching down to grab Teddy’s wrist and hold it in place. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

 

Gutter’s eyes were squeezed closed, but he could  _ feel _ Teddy watching him, his considering stillness.

 

And then, slowly, two nearly simultaneous things: Teddy leaned down and kissed him, slowly, consumingly - 

 

And the fingers began to rub, softly.

 

Shit, that was - he didn’t know what to do with his mind, his hands. The hand that wasn’t pressing at Gutter was running up and down his thigh, and a tongue was twisted around his and a finger was inside him.

 

It got briefly worse as he tensed up, and then Teddy said “ _ Relax _ ” and he did and it got good, better, he’d forgotten how good it was, more overwhelming than fucking someone else - the press of it being  _ almost almost almost _ too much. He was never sure, when he moved, whether he was trying to get away or get more.

 

“More,” he heard himself saying, lower than his voice had been before. “More, shit, come on - “

 

Another finger slid inside him, and the burn was intense and left no space for any other feeling. He was breathing hard, and heard Teddy say “Gutter” in a way that he could feel in his gut.

 

There was more lube, and a brief flare of pain that he pushed through that Teddy didn’t even comment on - at least Gutter didn’t hear him say anything. He realized, suddenly, that his legs had lifted up, squeezed around Teddy’s hips.

 

When he opened his eyes, Teddy was staring down at him, looking dazed, not even watching where his fingers were inside Gutter but looking at his face. For a second, Gutter couldn’t guess at his own expression, and then some awareness came back - his jaw was slack, face flushed, he was smiling a little, and the overall effect was, he was sure, pretty stupid, but still.

 

“You don’t get to make fun of my face if you’re the one causing it,” he said, and watched as Teddy blinked for a second, as though he had not even realized that Gutter had been looking back at him.

 

“I - “ Teddy said, and then twisted his fingers, which made Gutter gasp a little despite himself. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Two more presses, and god, right there - Teddy’s hands were huge and when he stretched his fingers Gutter’s whole legs tensed and released as he rode it out. “You’re - god, were you always - “

 

“Are you still talking?” Gutter asked, realizing that his eyes had closed again. He opened them to see Teddy, very distinctly, meeting his eyes this time.

 

“You’re different, here,” Teddy said, clearly. “You’re more - “ He swallowed, convulsively, looking like he did around - girls he liked, or something, that look of  _ please-make-me-stop-talking _ . “You didn’t use to be loud.”

 

“I used - to live in a house with both my dads and my sister in it,” Gutter said, although it came out halfway sounding like a breathy moan so maybe he was kind of proving Teddy’s point.

 

“It’s not just that,” Teddy said, and Gutter really wasn’t listening to him, caught up in the sensation of Teddy’s fingers sliding in, and out, and back in, rocking his hips to meet them and getting to hear Teddy gasp from it. “You’re,” Teddy tried, and then seemed to give up and slid pressed in a third finger.

 

Gutter felt fire run up his spine, through his head - he arched and his legs clenched and he heard them both say “ _ Fuck _ ,” almost in unison, and then - 

 

“Are you okay - “

 

“ _ Yes, move _ \- “

 

And Teddy’s hand was pushing, fingers spreading and moving in ways that Gutter couldn’t even keep track of, and he realized he could hear himself, steadily making small noises interspersed with “Teddy - come on, you - yes - “ as he, helplessly, moved his hips.

 

“You seem happy here,” Teddy said, and Gutter, surprised, opened his eyes.

 

Teddy’s eyes were - wide, and looking at Gutter in a way that made a shiver run down his whole body. Breath was coming from both of them in pants, and Gutter didn’t know what to say -  _ I am _ , or  _ I am because you’re here _ , or  _ stay _ . 

 

“Fuck me,” Gutter said, in place of those, and got to watch Teddy’s breath stutter in for a second before he pressed the three fingers back in,  _ hard _ , making Gutter’s back arch again as he let out a sharp “ _ Fuck _ .”

 

In the next moment, Teddy’s fingers were pulling out - so abrupt it almost hurt, and Gutter felt all the breath leave his chest in a gasp. His legs, still wrapped around Teddy’s waist, jerked him forward as he tried to follow the sensation - and then he was being moved, positioned, Teddy leaning over him. The heat between them was scorching, almost too much, raising sweat on Gutter’s chest and making his head swim. The cool air from the AC was hitting his feet and legs from this angle, had to be blasting on Teddy’s back.

 

Teddy’s cock bumped him, slipped and pressed in a way that made him feel the slightest burn of stretch, and Gutter wasn’t thinking anymore.

 

He was still  _ talking _ , though, words coming out of his mouth in a low steady stream that he couldn't seem to stop or even really control. “Come on, get in me, come on, want to feel you stretch me, I want to drive you crazy - “

 

“You  _ do _ \- “ Teddy said, and pushed, and shit, shit, it was - 

 

_ So _ much, all at once. It had only ever been Teddy, like this - there had been other people, sure, but not like  _ this _ . No one else pushing inside him, stretching him, painful and  _ intense _ in a way that hasn’t resolved into pleasure yet. He felt raw and remade, like freshly poured black asphalt, like red-hot metal.

 

“Oh god,” Teddy said, sounding choked. “Shit, I’m sorry, I - “ and he was pulling back, one hand dropping away from Gutter’s hips to wipe at Gutter’s eyes.

 

“Don’t you  _ dare _ ,” Gutter said, and he actually hit the tone he was looking for - teasing, a little mocking, not as though his skin had become one huge, exposed nerve. He caught Teddy’s wrist and pulled it away from his face, and then braced on his other arm and used the legs around Teddy to turn them, get himself on top. Teddy didn’t even resist, staring up at Gutter in a way that Gutter didn’t want to label as  _ concerned _ , but the only other word he could think of was  _ awe-struck _ , and.

 

And this way he could bear down, knees spread around Teddy’s legs, and Teddy finally slipped inside and the white-hot intensity resolved into pleasure that arced up his spine.

 

“ _ Oh _ ,” he said, and Teddy said, and for a second the room disappeared in a wave of white heat around them. A mix of pleasure and pain was making him clench and relax, riding waves of something that wasn’t orgasm but was so  _ close _ that he was nervous for a second. When he looked down at Teddy, he didn’t look any better off, head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut as though he couldn’t stand to look at Gutter.

 

Which was funny, maybe, because Gutter couldn’t look away.

 

He started to rock, and Teddy reached down and grabbed his hips and said “ _ Stop _ , wait, wait. Oh god wait.” And then nothing else, breathing steadily, hands stroking Gutter’s hips but not otherwise moving at all. Gutter didn’t need to feel him pulsing to know how  _ close _ he was - his face and voice gave it away - but he  _ could _ feel it, which was new and thrilling.

 

Still, he wasn’t patient, and so less than 30 seconds later Gutter was rocking again, tiny shifts of his hips that Teddy echoed with breaths out. They were part sob, part laugh, shaped vaguely like Gutter’s name. His eyes were still closed.

 

“Look at me,” Gutter said, still sounding teasing.

 

“I  _ can’t _ ,” Teddy said. His voice was in a whole different range than his speaking voice, low and rough and sounding like it was  _ almost _ agony.

 

“Come on, you’ve gotta at least last longer than the last guy who did this to me,” Gutter said, and laughed when Teddy’s hips rocked up so hard he was almost unseated, kept in place only by the way Teddy’s hands clenched around him. “ _ There _ you are.” Another push upwards, and Gutter said, around a moan, “Jealous?”

 

They were finally building a rhythm, and it was burning so fast, way too fast, Gutter’s whole body felt alight. The air conditioner was blowing on him and the sensation of it felt like heaven. Every touch felt like it was the edge, but somehow he kept going higher.

 

“No,” Teddy said, head thrown back. “No, not jealous.”

 

“You sure?” Gutter said, and it didn’t even sound like his voice. His thighs were trembling.

 

“It was me,” Teddy said, and Gutter’s eyes snapped open - when had they closed? - to find himself being watched. Beneath him, Teddy’s eyes were wide and bright and awestruck. He looked fierce, barely contained. “The last one to - you don’t let anyone else do this to you.” And his hips shoved upward again, somehow harder, hitting directly against the spot in Gutter that made him see  _ stars _ .

 

Teddy’s voice was getting rougher but he was still talking, hips rocking steadily in time with Gutter’s, “Tell me, tell me it’s only me you’re like this with, it’s - “

 

“Yeah,” Gutter was saying, and he couldn’t control his mouth. Didn’t want to. Had an excuse not to, riding just on the edge like this. “It’s - only you - “

 

“ _ Gutter _ ,” Teddy choked, and came. 

 

Riding the pulses out, Gutter reached down to finally touch himself, properly, beyond just the friction between them, because he was  _ so close _ and he just wanted to - 

 

“No - I want,” Teddy said, and before Gutter could register his meaning Teddy’s fingers were entwining with his, stroking, the other hand going up from his waist to cup around his ribs, pulling him down so that his arms fell on either side of Teddy’s head.

 

He was looking at Teddy and being touched by him and his eyes were so  _ blue _ and suddenly he was there, lights exploding behind his eyes, whole body pulsing in time with Teddy’s touch.

 

He didn’t hear his own voice when he came, but he heard Teddy, a second later, saying “Gutter” in a voice that sounded like it had been dragged across broken glass.

 

* * *

 

 

They came down in the mixed comfort of a strong AC on an unseasonably hot day. The room smelled like sex and the window faced east, so the shortening shadows acted as a clock in place of the electric one that was still in one of these boxes.

 

Gutter wished he wasn’t tracking the passing of time from the bed, as they sat and touched - not  _ cuddled _ but just, touched, in the kind of way that felt natural after fucking someone. Teddy had a hand in his hair and he couldn’t seem to stop absently tracing his palm up and down Teddy’s leg. The sun had moved from the middle of a box to the corner of it, already beginning to slip over the edge.

 

“How the hell did you get here?” Gutter said, suddenly, interrupting some story Teddy was telling about the volume that Joaquin’s voice had reached when they’d realized that Gutter had fully and entirely moved out in the space of an afternoon.

 

The hand in Gutter’s hair stilled. “I…. drove?” The tone went up at the end, and Gutter was tired of these questions-that-weren’t-questions, he really was.

 

“Where’s your  _ car _ ?” he said. There was a parking garage under the apartment building, but only residents had access, and Teddy had shown up unannounced yesterday. So unless he knew someone else in the apartment building (and with the level of stalking that had apparently been happening, Gutter was  _ not _ ruling that out), his car wasn’t there. But the only other parking around this part of the city was - 

 

“A parking garage.” Gutter instinctively flinched. Every time he’d snuck down to this city to scout out apartments and jobs and dojos, he’d had to cough up more for parking than for the gas in the first place. He’d ponied up only because a parking ticket would be hard to explain, and buses would take all day - but he’d never stayed  _ overnight _ , either.

 

“You’re - “ Gutter looked up, and found Teddy already looking down at him. His head, he noticed, was resting on the arm that wasn’t stroking his hair, meaning that Teddy’s face was actually  _ really _ close. “How much are you  _ paying _ for that?”

 

“Don’t worry about it. I have a job.”

 

“So do I, and that parking  _ still _ hurt.” Teddy looked sheepish. “Well?”

 

“It’s…. I  _ might _ have to put it on my credit card. It’s fine. Worth it.”

 

Pointedly ignoring the warmth that curled in him from that statement, Gutter continued, “I mean, but you can’t stay for longer than a day with that. You - “ his throat closed on the words, but he forced them out, “you can’t stay.”

 

Teddy was looking at him, as he said, “Yeah. I should - “ he paused. He was staring at Gutter, arms on either side of him. The knowledge suddenly flashed through Gutter’s brain that they were both still naked, and that should probably be weird, but just as quickly he had forgotten. “I should… go.”

 

It wasn’t unexpected but it stung anyways. Teddy had a job back at home, and a family, and he didn’t even live here - this was Gutter’s apartment, because it was Gutter who had left, Gutter who’d put an hour of distance between himself and Teddy, Gutter who hadn’t even left a note, even though he apparently hadn’t needed to.

 

Gutter who needed, abruptly, to not be lounging naked in bed with Teddy.

 

“Better go take care of that, then,” he said, and pushed himself away. He didn’t look at Teddy’s face as he stood up. “Do you remember if there are any more boxes downstairs?”

 

“A few.” Teddy was still laying on the bed. Gutter was still not looking at him. “Do you need any help with - “

 

“I’m good.” There was an awkward silence. Gutter went over to the box that held his clothes, pulled on a new pair of boxers and a t-shirt, then jeans. The sunlight in the room was taking on a late-afternoon quality, finally beginning to wane in heat. The AC, suddenly, seems sickeningly cool. “D’you want lunch?”

 

“Do you  _ have  _ food?” Teddy said. He’d gotten up off the bed, finally, and sounded closer. When Gutter turned to face him, he was too close, looking like maybe he’d aborted a motion to reach out to Gutter’s shoulder. “I didn’t see anything but ramen.”

 

“I - “ Gutter said, and then actually considered the contents of his kitchen. “We could order pizza.” That sounded amazing, actually, and Gutter found himself suddenly hopeful that Teddy would say yes. They hadn’t crashed and eaten pizza on the floor together for - years. It felt like the kind of independent, rebellious thing that you should do in your first parent-less living space.

 

Teddy drew in a deep breath, and Gutter felt the rejection before he even said, “Maybe next time.” He couldn’t see his own face, but he knew Teddy could see something when he followed up immediately with, “Next weekend?”

 

“You can’t just drive down here every weekend.”

 

“If you’re treating me to pizza I can.”

 

“Who the hell said I’m treating?” Gutter punched Teddy’s arm, grinning.

 

“My bank account, after this parking bill. Is this why you didn’t come to anything the last couple months? This was where all your extra cash was going to? I - we thought you had some secret girlfriend.” Teddy shifted on his feet.

 

“Nah.” The idea bothered Gutter, and after a second he gave up on identifying why. “Just this place.” He gave a vague gesture, encompassing the half-unpacked bedroom with a mattress on the floor, and the empty living room, and the precarious AC, and the two coffee cups in the sink.

 

Teddy looked around. He said, in a lower tone than before, “I like it.”

 

“Thanks.” 

 

They stared at each other, and they were a foot apart and fully clothed but suddenly Gutter felt a surge of what there had been when they were naked and pressed together and Teddy had said his name.

 

“Gutter - “ Teddy said, in eerie echo, and that was it, it was too much.

 

“You’re right, you should probably get going.” There was a false cheer to Gutter’s voice, some sour note that he could hear and Teddy could probably hear, but whatever. He’d get over it. “You got your keys?”

 

There was a dragged out moment of silence when Teddy patted his pocket while still looking at Gutter. He didn’t look disappointed, or irritated. Gutter didn’t know what to call that expression - slightly drawn together eyebrows, focused eyes, relaxed mouth. “Yeah,” Teddy said finally.

 

Gutter forced a laugh. “Geez, I’ll see you next weekend, no need to look so serious about this. I’ll still be around, you know?” He punched Teddy’s other arm. This thing they had going, where he hit Teddy but Teddy never hit back - he wasn’t so into that. He wasn’t sure how to ask for things to go back to what they were, though. “See you.”

 

Before Gutter could realize what he was doing, Teddy grabbed his arm - was he gonna hit him? - no - he leaned in and kissed Gutter, strong, two seconds of intensity, and then he was back where he had been, a foot away. “See you,” Teddy said, and turned to walk out.

 

Gutter watched him go, and thought, desperately,  _ I should say something funny _ , but his mind was blank until he heard the door open and close, so he said to the empty room, “What kind of goodbye was that?”

 

Just as well Teddy had left. It didn’t really sound like a joke.

 

He stood there in the empty room for a minute longer, listening. Everything seemed unfinished. Some part of him was insisting that Teddy would come back in, say “just kidding”, stay another night.

 

But a minute passed, and he didn’t, and eventually Gutter moved. He walked out to the living room - god, it really was a mess - and then turned into the empty kitchen. Thoughts drifted through his head about food - had he packed  _ anything _ aside from ramen? It hadn’t occurred to him. Maybe there was a grocery store nearby.

 

He was pulling out his phone to check when the front door opened again and his stomach did an impressive backflip.

 

Gutter took a step towards the hallway, already speaking. “Miss me already? I thought we agreed you wouldn’t be bothering me again until next week.”

 

He reached the hallway, and stopped short. Giddy said, “What, is Teddy already moving in next week? You didn’t send me so much as a text.”

 

If seeing Teddy in his new apartment was strange, seeing Giddy was  _ surreal _ . She was dressed in her usual flowy florals, looking small and polished and feminine in a hallway that Gutter was suddenly aware was extremely drab.

 

“Teddy - isn’t moving in next week? What?” He was staring at her. She was pissed at him, he knew that, but she didn’t look nearly as angry as he’d maybe expected. Already, her eyes were drifting off of him and taking in the hallway, the messy living room over his shoulder, the window that overlooked a boring city street. 

 

“Really?” Her eyes came back to him. “Then why’d I walk by him talking to the front desk about getting a parking pass for the building?”

 

“Uh,” Gutter said.

 

“Nevermind.” She stepped forward, drew back, and punched Gutter in the shoulder, hard. Gutter stumbled back a little - he always forgot how hard Giddy could hit - but he’d let her land it. He probably deserved it. “Don’t ever leave me out of these kinds of plans again.”

 

“I - won’t?” Gutter said. “How are you here?”

 

“I drove, duh.” Which wasn’t really what he’d been asking, but whatever. His secret address was apparently not a secret at all. Giddy moved forward again, and Gutter braced himself for - a hug. Oh. It felt a little strange. They weren’t the sort of siblings that hugged, usually. “Good to see you.” 

 

It had only been two days since they’d seen each other - and that only because he’d avoided her on his moving out day for fear that she’d somehow just  _ know _ \- but he could kind of understand the sentiment. “You too.” Hesitantly, he brought his arms up and gave her a quick hug in return.

 

She stepped lightly out of his arms as though the hug had never happened, and moved past him into the living room. Aside from a couch of questionably origin, it was mostly a mess of boxes and collapsed furniture that he hadn’t even started to unpack. It looked a lot smaller, like this, and it hadn’t looked big in the first place.

 

Still, Giddy spun around, taking in all four walls and the window and the half-wall to the kitchen, ending facing him. “Nice place,” she said.

 

He thought, involuntarily, of Teddy saying the same thing. Of Teddy carrying these boxes up here, and Teddy in the kitchen, and Teddy and him in front of that window a day before.

 

“Thanks,” he said.

 

She started walking towards his kitchen. “Have you gone food shopping yet?”

 

“Nope.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and watched her start rooting through cupboards, and wondered what it was like to have a place that was just yours.

 

“Want to order pizza?” Giddy said, voice echoing inside the empty fridge.

 

“God, yes.”

 

Not as good as this, Gutter figured.

**Author's Note:**

> For Ashley's birthday


End file.
